My first born turns 45!!

Well, I was going to write this post one week ago today when my son actually turned 45, but I was out of town tending to my grand kitty and so my draft of my his 45th birthday remained in limbo. Sort of like our relationship lately…but I digress.

Wow! Where has the time gone? My ONLY son turned 45 Oct. 12th!! I was 18 when I gave birth to Troy in 1969. Here he is playing ball in 1975…Little ball player

I was wondering who else might have been born in 1969…so I did a little research: hmmmm

Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Lopez, Donnie Wahlberg, Jack Black

Jennifer Aniston, Tyler Perry, Marilyn Manson, Chaz Bono

Catherine Zeta Jones, Renee’ Zellweger, JUST TO NAME A FEW…

Troy’s dad and I were married but were not together. My mom was by my side the day Troy was born for 13 hrs. of hard labor and subsequent C-section. I was a child having a child!! I was scared to death and miserable!! Even though the “shotgun wedding” was well intentioned, the marriage was doomed before it began! I discovered I was pregnant in Jan of my senior year. I married in Feb. Due to major morning sickness I was forced to drop out right before graduation. I never considered adoption or abortion and my son was born the following Oct. Maybe my son would have had a better life I I had considered adoption? I don’t know. I just know that I loved him from the moment of conception and couldn’t consider any other way. My mom agreed to help me and be a support.

So, six days after Troy was born we went home to my parent’s house. That was not what I had envisioned. Going home to my parental home with a new born son when all my friends were going to football games etc; was not part of my life plan! Hmmmmm…

My mom had given birth to my little sister just two years earlier, so Troy’s #1 playmate those first few years was his Aunt Tammy…Christmas pals

I loved my boy, but he had to compete for the affection of his grandparents, since they had a little girl that was born late in their lives. It was so unfair, but a fact of his little life.

Troy’s dad went to Viet Nam and eventually served me with divorce papers so he could remarry. I worked, I dated and sometimes dated men that weren’t good father figures for Troy. But then, when Troy was 5 years old things turned around for us when I met up with an old school friend (the brother of one of my closet girlfriends)and we married. We were now a trio. Troy’s step-dad and I agreed that he should adopt Troy so that when he began first grade he wouldn’t have to be questioned about the change in his last name. Troy’s step-dad and I met and got re-acquainted when we met in a bar after a night of drinking. That should have been my first red flag. But, as we often do when we are young and stupid we ignore all the warning signs.

We were together 10 years. Troy was a teenager by the time his step-dad and I split up and the damage had already been done. The bright side in those ten years was that Troy had two little sisters that were born!! 1977 - 26 yrs. old (2)

Theresa was born in 1977 when Troy was 7 1/2 yrs old. Tanya came next when he was fixing to turn 10 in 1979. He loved his little sisters and was a great babysitter! I heard much later in life when they were all grown that he used to put on rock concerts in the living room with his buddies when we were out and he was in charge! LOL His little sisters were told to sit on the sofa and not move while he and his buddies entertained them. I’m surprised that we never got a call from neighbors.

Anyway, there’s much more history and much more I could say, but suffice it to say I miss my boy! You see, Troy hasn’t spoken to me in almost a year now. I sent him a beautiful birthday card that spoke from my heart in secret hopes that it might open a door. Maybe it will – it hasn’t so far. He knows how to reach me. In fact, maybe he’ll read this post. He knows about my blog. In fact, the last time he got mad at me…it was because of this blog. The time previous to that it was because of Facebook.

Maybe you understand a little bit more why I don’t really like all this Social Media crap. Your thoughts?


13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tanya Ruff
    Oct 19, 2014 @ 20:31:09

    You KNOW my only thought is life is too short. I love this post, but not nearly as much as I love you and my only brother. The good memories I have don’t just include rock concerts and bedtime snacks, but lots hide and seek, fort building and always feeling like “he had our back”…. I hope you both find some level of a relationship with one another soon.


    • bittygirl51
      Oct 20, 2014 @ 04:27:19

      Thanks, Tanya! Hold onto to those good memories, my sweet baby girl. There’s nothing more precious…cause when you get old like I am, it will be more challenging to remember (or at least accurately). LOL


  2. Kathy Tamdberg
    Oct 19, 2014 @ 20:49:04

    Hey Sis! Just read your. Log. Where have the years gone?

    I’ve sitting here in my corner in the living room surrounded by hundreds of old photos. Sorting through them and getting half-organized to take into a photo store on Bismarck. They have a couple different sized and priced boxes that you fill with photos and then they scan them and copy them to photo discs. So that’s my plan.

    Anyway, I of course went all nostalgic reading your blog when it came in. It really took me back!

    You state that it was October of our senior year and you dropped out to take care of Troy, but our October of senior year was in 1968 and we graduated from HS that May 1969. I thought you graduated with our class? Or is my memory gone? Could be, ha!

    I have some photos in one of my boxes of your baby shower the summer of ’69. When I come across them again I’ll email them to you.

    Love you dear one! Have a nice rest of the day!


    Sent from my iPhone



    • bittygirl51
      Oct 19, 2014 @ 21:17:19

      I guess I should have said I had to drop out because I was pregnant. I dropped out in spring during all the flooding. Troy was born the next fall.


    • bittygirl51
      Oct 21, 2014 @ 00:56:45

      Thanks for pointing out my error, Kathy. I was in a hurry when I wrote my blog and mis-stated the facts. I have since edited my post. I hope this meets with your satisfaction…Mrs Editor Extraordinaire! LOL


      • Kathy
        Nov 04, 2014 @ 02:37:03

        I love everything you write Sis! A lot of these are my memories too, but with my “Sometimers” disease I wasn’t sure if my memory was right or not! But I thought you still graduated with our class. Love you much!

  3. Diane Fiore
    Oct 19, 2014 @ 22:50:31

    I love your story, Linda. Filled with honesty and love, and the best of intentions. Life is and can be messy, but it’s obvious that your family is the most important thing in the world to you. Peace.


  4. A.PROMPTreply
    Oct 19, 2014 @ 23:12:13

    I’m so sorry for you and for Troy. What a thing to miss out on each other for that long. It really sounds like you have had quite the life over there! I’m glad you do have joy now with your grandbabies and even fur grandbabies! Hang in there. You always end up just where you should be….for everything there is a reason. Not easy, I know, but best I have to get through things……Happy belated day you became a mother!


    • bittygirl51
      Oct 20, 2014 @ 04:23:58

      Thanks for your kind words, sis. I really love my children and my grandchildren and I hope one day we can all get along. That is how it should be.


      • A.PROMPTreply
        Oct 20, 2014 @ 12:10:22

        Well, I don’t know about ALL families, but for sure in my family we have situations like yours too. Not what we want it to be, but only thing we can do is control how WE are….the rest, as they say, is up to them.

  5. Kat
    Oct 20, 2014 @ 02:17:49

    I think we do the best we can, right? We love our kids and we never stop being their mom. I’m sure you miss your son very much and I hope he reaches out to you so you can mend things.


    • bittygirl51
      Oct 20, 2014 @ 04:22:29

      Thanks, Kat! I do too! Because of our last interaction…it won’t be me doing the reaching out…it has to be him. It’s an unfortunate situation and one that I remain in prayer about daily.


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