The cycle continues…

I had a brief chat with a 30 something yr old young man not too long ago and he said, “When I marry it will be for life.  I will only marry once.”

Having lived a few more years than he had…and having experienced a whole lot more than he had – I was blown away by his naivety!  This young man “presented” himself as a bible believing Christian (that’s a topic for another post)…

Naturally, having experienced the heartache of divorce more than once I was also quite offended by his comment.  Politely, I replied “well, do you think it was ever my intention to marry more than once?”  “Don’t you think that everyone who marries only intends to do it once?”  “Do  you really think that anyone goes into a marriage thinking it will end in divorce?”  OMG!  

No, ladies and gentlemen – I never intended for any of my children to come from a broken home – even if I did!  And yet, 2 of my 3 children have experienced more than one divorce just like I have! As hard as I try to live right, do right and be a Godly example they still have to live their life and make their own choices, right or wrong.  I hate that!  I want them to learn from my mistakes, not to make their own.  But, I truly don’t believe we learn much from watching others make mistakes and bad choices.

I learned my lessons much later in life.  It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I began to see that I was the “common denominator” in a lot of my choices and that I was the one that needed to change – not them.  That’s also when my prayers changed.  Instead of praying “God make him the kind of husband I want him to be” it was “God, show me how to be the kind of wife you need me to be.”  I know it seems simplistic and my prayers often involved more words than seen here, but you get my drift.

So, why do I post on this topic, you ask?  Well, because I am witnessing the cycle continue.  My grandchildren now come from broken homes!!  My grandson, Kash is just one example.  He will be 3 in Sept.  He goes to Daddy’s for one week, then he’s at mommy’s for one week.  He’s at daddy’s the entire month of July – not to see his mommy, his four other siblings or his Maw Maw. I miss him.  But, more importantly, I’m sad for him.

No one really thinks twice about being from a broken home anymore.  Do they even use that terminology anymore?  It’s more the norm nowadays.  So many couples just live together now without the marital contract and bring children into that world as well.  If Hollywood says it’s okay then I guess it’s okay, right?  NADA!    I’m so sad about the direction our world is going.  

I know some will call me old fashioned.  Some will say what I desire is unrealistic.  Some will even say that I’m living in the dark ages.  I just hate that the cycle continues.


17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Diana Black
    Jul 12, 2014 @ 02:10:59

    A big AMEN Sister! I totally agree and I feel the same about my children and grandchildren. I am glad you posted this. It’s not old fashion, God’s word instructs us how to live a Godly life. My mother & father would have celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary if my father had not passed Feb 2009. Even though they did have their ups & downs, I always thought I would be with my husband till death do us part, but things changed and I divorced after 21 yrs of marriage. It’s like a death with grieving but your spouse is still living. But God healed my heart. God is our answer. Love you Sis


  2. augielife
    Jul 12, 2014 @ 02:50:56

    I too said those very same words. I meant them too. I stayed in a very abusive marriage for 7 years trying to make it work, however we were both way too young and way to immature to make the right choices for not only our 3 children, but ourselves. I was not given the proper tools, I did not have a proper Godly mentor to show me who I truly was in Christ. I did go to church, I prayed, I tried to do the right thing, but I was broken inside. I don’t get angry at anyone wanting this for themselves. I pray that man does only have to marry once…for life…and that God guides them in a wonderful loving relationship for their sake and the sake of their future children. (children’s future)


    • bittygirl51
      Jul 13, 2014 @ 19:17:55

      Oh my, my sweet sister – what a transformation it is..when the Holy Spirit takes over! It doesn’t stop me though from wishing it would have happened sooner if for no other reason then for the sake of my children! A lot of healing needs to take place – and I know a God that is the “master physician”!!

      Thanks for commenting, Sheri. I know we would have some good talks over a cup of Joe on your little porch if we could! (I don’t drink coffee – maybe a diet coke) LOL


  3. A.PROMPTreply
    Jul 12, 2014 @ 02:55:10

    Totally agree with you on is sad how people are so unconcerned with how their actions affect others and how much children do have to put up with. I know there are times when divorce is unavoidable and for certain I’m not one to say to hang in there for the kids’ sake, but oh how I wish when there are children involved that the parents could advocate for the child’s needs and not their own.


    • bittygirl51
      Jul 13, 2014 @ 19:13:50

      Yes…even adults can become so self-centered in getting their “needs met” that they forget the little impressionable minds that are watching everything they do and say. Oh how I wish I had the wisdom of a 63 yr. old back when I was 35!!


  4. mcwoman
    Jul 12, 2014 @ 13:50:51

    I think it’s important for teenagers to not only learn about the birds and the bees, but the difference between unconditional love and lust. I think a lot of us who married young made the wrong choice because we didn’t know the difference.


    • bittygirl51
      Jul 13, 2014 @ 19:12:09

      I agree and sex education begins in the home, not in our schools!! Unfortunately, some homes aren’t even healthy enough to teach their kids the difference between right and wrong or healthy boundaries. What a sad commentary. Thanks for commenting.


  5. Renee
    Jul 27, 2014 @ 19:26:30

    I saw a pic of your handmade pillow quilt. It is beautiful! Are you still making them? Thanks.


    • bittygirl51
      Jul 27, 2014 @ 21:26:41

      Yes ma’am! They r so much fun to make & very popular. I can’t keep them in stock. I only have one girlie quilt in stock right now. All the rest have sold. Thanku for asking.


      • Renee
        Jul 27, 2014 @ 22:27:19

        What are the dimensions and how much are you asking?

      • bittygirl51
        Jul 27, 2014 @ 22:55:04

        Approx. 30″ X 36″. $26.95 plus shipping.

        Jul 27, 2014 @ 22:57:42

        Can you send me a picture of the quilt you have available? Thanks.


      • bittygirl51
        Jul 28, 2014 @ 03:53:29

        Sorry for the delay in responding. Was in church this evening and am now trying to get ready to leave town on vacation. I will try to reply by e-mail and send you pictures of the pillow quilt I just completed. If it’s not the colors/style you are looking for, just let me know and I will be glad to give you others ideas for a custom order. If you like and want, I will not be able to ship until next Monday when I return from my trip.


        Jul 28, 2014 @ 03:57:31

        Thanks Linda
        I am not in a hurry so yes, would appreciate pictures when you get a chance. Have a great vacation!

      • bittygirl51
        Jul 28, 2014 @ 04:07:21

        Sent ya four pics. Thanks Renee!

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