When are you closest to God?

OMG! The person that got out of my bed this morning was not me! I don’t know who that person was, but whoever she was…she was cranky, miserable was hating her life!  Just saying…honestly.  Fortunately, it only lasted a short while.  This was at 6:30 am, before my two precious grandsons arrived.  I am normally a very positive and upbeat person – full of faith (and the Holy Ghost) I might add …but today was not starting out on a good note.  Within 20 minutes of arising and realizing my cranky state I was berating myself and beating myself up for feeling so horrible!!  All I wanted to do was cry!! Once my sweet hubby realized my state and showed a little tenderness…I was doing just that!!  Sitting next to him on the edge of the bed having a good cry!  He’s such a good man and always helps me to see the “error of my ways”…or in this case my “thoughts”.  He put his foot down when I called myself stupid.  

You see, we had enjoyed an awesome Easter Sunday with both morning and evening church services, dinner at Red Lobster with eldest daughter, her boyfriend and my grandson, Kash.  We are Apostolic.  Church for us is like a teenager going to see their favorite rock concert.  We love Jesus and believe in making a joyful noise!  There is nothing sedate about Pentecostal worship.  We came home at 9:30 lastnight, sweaty, tired and all sung and danced out! (I’m in the choir, and hubby is the sound man).

So, why in the world was I feeling the way I was feeling this morning?  How in the world can I be on top of the mountain in church and then be in the mully grubs this morning?  Am I a hypocrite?  Is what I feel in church and sometimes even at home (when I’m prayed up, and in the Word) real?  Or is it a figment of my imagination?  All these thoughts/questions were what manifested themselves into me thinking I was really being STUPID!

But, my sweet hubby reminded me of another “being” that is just as real as God and knows exactly the right time to show up!!  The devil, Satan, ie; the “Prince of Darkness”…would like nothing better than to pull me down into the PIT.  And he really doesn’t care a whole lot about me and will leave me alone most of the time….BUT, when I’m at the top of the mountain, praising & glorifying God he HATES IT!  That is when I am closest to God!  And Satan is one very mad dude!  He is not one bit happy about my joy and my love of my Savior.  Within minutes of this realization, my hubby and I were praying and rebuking the enemy from further attacks.  I was done beating myself up for not recognizing this spiritual attack for what it was.  With my chin up and a better attitude I greeted two precious grandsons who arrived within 30 min. of each other and we went on with our day.

Jackson laid down for his morning nap within 30 min. of arriving and Kash and I took a walk to the park/playground.  Walking & fresh air always helps my moods too!  We played for about an hour while Paw Paw tended to Jackson. When we got back home Paw Paw was feeding Jackson his bottle.  While Jackson was still up and we had Paw Paw’s help, Kash and I made the beds and vaccumed the whole house.  I always feel better when the house is tidied up too!

It was still Monday.   I’m sure there is something about Mondays..not just for working adults but babies as well.  In fact, I’m convinced that babies don’t like Mondays either.  Kash had not been here in almost two weeks.  He spent a week long visitation with his daddy, and when he arrived home to mommy last Tues evening he was violently ill with a stomach virus!!  Poor baby.  Mommy had to miss last Wed. and Thurs from work to take him to the doctor and nurse him back to health.  She had good Friday and weekend off.  Kash began feeling better Friday so I got to spend a few hours with him on Friday having a little Easter egg hunt in the back yard.  After being at daddy’s for a week and then being sick for several days, he wanted to be the center of my world today and didn’t want to tolerate a fussy infant (Jackson) stealing his Maw Maw’s attention.  ImageIm ‘getting wet in this shot.  Who’s idea was it to buy water pistols at the dollar store, anyway?

Jackson, on the other hand – just doesn’t like Mondays!! He’s no longer in his familiar surroundings.  He’s had the weekend with mommy and daddy, no siblings + their undivided attention and today Maw Maw and Paw Paw just weren’t adequate!  He never slept for more than 45 min. at a time…mostly “cat napping” and seemed to have caught Maw Maw’s early morning crankiness!! 

ImageThank God for teamwork!  Paw Paw did more than his fair share to help me with the boys today.  He also washed, dried and folded all the laundry.  We were both glad to see 5 pm roll around.  I know tomorrow will be a better day. After all, it’s Tuesday! LOL


15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Anonymous
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 01:43:32

    Sweet post! That Kash just wants his maw maw all to himself. I can relate! I hope tomorrow is a better day.


    • bittygirl51
      Apr 22, 2014 @ 19:22:26

      Thanks Tanya! No, today hasn’t been much better. Both boys have been pampered and spoiled in their absence from Maw Maw and Paw Paw’s house. 3 days for Jackson and about 10 days for Kash. I’m afraid we’ve gone backwards a little with poor Kash being sick and we are experiencing the dilemma of first time parents with Jackson. It’s kinda like labor – painful when you are going thru it, but easy to forget when gone. LOL

      Love em….just know I’m getting too old and less patient for caring for little ones. Especially, when Jackson starts crying as soon as he hears Kash cry!! Kash on the other hand has been much more “whiny” this week and I’m sure it’s because he was babied while sick (understandably so).


  2. Darlene Williamson
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 01:50:45

    I love your honesty ….glad to know others wake up in a “mood” that takes a good cry and love from your Heavenly Father and the soulmate He has given you to help you thru it !!! Thank you for sharing!! 💙


    • bittygirl51
      Apr 22, 2014 @ 19:28:00

      Thanks Darlene. I’ve always heard that “honesty is the best policy”…but unfortunately, sometimes my honesty can get me into trouble. I try to temper it as best I can – especially if it’s that “brutal type honesty” that can hurt someone’s feelings. But, when it comes to my own junk…I’m a big proponent of honesty and accountability. Ever since Granny passed, I’ve felt a little bit like a ship without a rudder and think I’ve suffered some mild depression. Too busy to suffer for too long tho! I’ve committed to at least 10 more minutes in the Word and prayer this week to help me push on thru and so far it seems to be working. Part of my frustration is the insomnia that I’m suffering with. Last night I was in bed by 10:30 but didn’t get to sleep until 2:00. Frustrating when your alarm is set for 5:30 and you have boys arriving at 7:00!!

      I’ll keep sharing, if you’ll keep caring! Love ya!


  3. beecee554
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 02:53:25

    So glad you got the victory over that old devil! I think your hubby handled the situation quite well and you and he prayed your way through it. Here’s hoping you and your family have a wonderful Tuesday and the rest of the week……….Bonnie.


    • bittygirl51
      Apr 22, 2014 @ 19:29:39

      Thanks Bonnie. Well tomorrow is “hump day”…so if we can get past the hump in the week it’s all downhill from there. Church services and some good Christian fellowship tomorrow night should help as well.
      Thanks for the well wishes!!


  4. Darlene
    Apr 22, 2014 @ 22:42:25

    you know I will keep caring so you can plan on continuing to share. Love you Auntie!! I have been so lost at times I get into my lil home and hide for a while then I am ok until I overdo like I have been doing for a few weeks in fact it has caused body to act like the bals palsy wants to flair up which I was told after having it twice it could. I just have to remind my self and God has to REMIND me to slow down!! take a moment to breathe in deep and let my cares leave as I exhale.


  5. Diane Fiore
    Apr 23, 2014 @ 01:01:23

    Thanks for the highlighting the cause and solution for some of our unexplained (or even explained) down times, Linda. Seems so simple, but hard to remember sometimes. The children seem like a wonderful cure too.


  6. Diana Black
    Apr 23, 2014 @ 14:23:00

    Rickey and I were at the church Sat morn before 10a to help with Easter Egg Hunt. Rickey hung on till 3:00p It really wore Rickey out. He needs to get out but he pays for it later. I had fun with the kids, I was wore out also, it got up to 80. We’re not as young as we used to be. We are living on the earth as mere mortals susceptible to anything this world has to offer as far as ailments. God is sooo good to us, it could be a lot worse. I give him all the praise & glory for you my sister. You are truly a blessing, love you!


    • Diana Black
      Apr 23, 2014 @ 14:57:41

      You are blessed to be able to spend time with you grand babies. They will keep you young.


      • bittygirl51
        Apr 24, 2014 @ 22:59:28

        LOL! I’m not so sure! They will either keep me young or make me very old, very fast!! I do know how blessed I am and on the difficult days I have to remind myself of that. Thanks for reading and commenting on my blog. It’s my little “outlet”.

    • bittygirl51
      Apr 24, 2014 @ 22:58:06

      Wow Diana! That was alot of time in the outdoors for Rickey! I’m know Jerry wouldn’t have lasted that long, for sure! We went to Pastor’s birthday party, and then had choir practice – that was enough for a Saturday.
      Love you, sweet sister


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